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Learn more about LDs and ADHD, and find helpful information and insights on the assessment, diagnosis and management of these learning and attention challenges.
If you are a parent of a child who has been recently diagnosed with ADHD or a learning disability, you have likely asked yourself, “How should I tell my child?”
The first step in talking to your child about their diagnosis is to speak with the professional who provided the assessment and ask them how they would explain it. As a psychologist, I try to keep explanations of learning disabilities and ADHD age-appropriate and strengths-based, and allow families to ask questions.
“We’ve learned that your brain is built differently and that’s ok. It makes some things easier and others more difficult, and now that we know, we can work with that.”
For all ages, it will be important to help the child understand what their strengths and challenges are and how to ask for help when needed. Having a diagnosis is an explanation for why certain things may be easier or more difficult for your child compared to their peers. It will also be important to strike a balance between providing support and supervision to your child when it is required and giving them a manageable level of independence to improve self-esteem and confidence as they mature.
How Do I Explain A Diagnosis?
An important part of explaining a diagnosis to a child (or to anyone for that matter) is to distinguish between the challenges that arise from the diagnosis and the child’s character. For example, ADHD has been well established as a medical condition that involves differences in brain functioning, particularly in the frontal lobe and cerebellum, and with the neurotransmitter dopamine.
It is important to explain to your child that ADHD does not mean that they are lazy or stupid or that they don’t care about doing well in school (or at home or with their friends), but rather, it is an actual difference in how their brain operates, which makes it hard for them to direct their attention to the right task, at the right time, with the right amount of energy.
Using a Simple Example: Wearing Glasses
We understand this difference between condition and character when we talk about other diagnoses. For example, most of us would not tell a person who is nearsighted to simply try harder to improve their vision. There is an actual difference with how their eyes work compared to someone with 20/20 vision and no amount of trying harder to see better is going to improve that. Instead, we recognize the difference and we provide the person with glasses or contact lenses so that they can see just as well as someone who isn’t nearsighted. Similarly for ADHD and learning disabilities, we can explain to children that we know they are trying their best and now that we also know their diagnosis, we can support them with additional targeted instruction, accommodations, and other supports at home, school, and in the community.
How Do I Actually Word This?
How you explain a diagnosis to your child will depend on many factors, such as their age, social-emotional maturity, and how the diagnosis specifically impacts their daily life. For younger children, it will still be important to explain the diagnosis to them but in terms that they can understand and that don’t overwhelm them. For teenagers, parents may also want to focus on having important discussions about relationships, safety (e.g., driving), and self-advocacy.
Explaining Brains by Dr. Liz Angoff offers scripts and other tools that parents can use. This page is specifically about explaining a diagnosis to a child.
Getting Rid of “Try Harder”
When we separate the child’s character from their ADHD or learning disability then we remove the shame and sense of defeat that often comes as a result from frequently being told to “try harder.” When we describe the diagnosis in a clear and fact-based manner, we separate the child from the condition and allow them to accept it and not to over-identify with it. Your child is much more than their ADHD or learning disability but their diagnosis is also a part of their lived experience that needs to be recognized, accepted, and supported.
About the author: Krista Forand, M.Ed., Registered Psychologist, of Compass Psychology, practices in Calgary and is a member of the Learning Disabilities & ADHD Network’s Supports for Adults Action Team. “Krista’s training and experience have primarily focused on working with youth and adults who, due to challenges with learning, attention, and social skills, have had difficulty achieving their potential. As a psychologist, she provides thoughtful and comprehensive psychoeducational assessments including learning assessments. This helps clients understand how they learn, process information and how they can help themselves achieve their goals.”
My ADHD Journey Through Chaos, Diagnosis and Imposter Syndrome
I was 30 when I received my ADHD diagnosis: Combined Type, Severity: High. For most of my life, I’d been battling an unseen adversary – like an elusive cryptid – leaving me perpetually exhausted, scattered, and questioning my worth. Receiving the diagnosis was both a relief and an awakening. It validated my struggles while forcing me to confront not only the challenges but also the deeply rooted imposter syndrome that had quietly shaped much of my identity.
My diagnosis also brought into focus a more painful reality: how ADHD fueled impulsivity, poor decision-making, and unhealthy relationship patterns. Perhaps most difficult to acknowledge was how being the eldest daughter – the default “third parent” to my younger sister – trapped me in a caregiving cycle I was never equipped to manage, especially with a mind constantly whirling in overdrive.
The Toll of “Trying Harder”
Growing up in a lower-income household, mental health conversations were virtually nonexistent. We valued hard work, survival, and resilience. My parents, stretched thin by work and bills, were focused on keeping the heat on rather than on introspection. We didn’t have labels like ADHD; instead, there was “just try harder” or “just pay more attention.” As the eldest daughter, I became a second caregiver by necessity, readily stepping into a role long before I understood its weight.
From an early age, I took care of my sister: cooking meals, helping with homework, and often shielding her from household tensions. At the time, caregiving felt natural, but in retrospect, it set a precedent that followed me into adulthood. Managing these responsibilities with undiagnosed ADHD drained me. I was disorganized, forgetful, and constantly overwhelmed. Every misplaced item or forgotten task reinforced a belief that I was fundamentally unreliable—not just as a sibling or daughter, but as a person. Still, I pushed through blinking back tears of frustration and self-loathing because failure wasn’t an option. My family depended on me to keep things going.
This responsibility became central to my identity. I coped by overcompensating through people-pleasing, masking my struggles, and pretending I had it all together. On the inside I felt like I was held together precariously with strips of duct tape, cartoonishly slapping them onto leaks only for another to burst through the walls.
Same at School
In school, I was the quintessential underachiever. I lived in a constant state of overload, frequently losing homework, missing first periods but managing to panic-write A+ essays the night before they were due. My clothes were always wrinkled from their strategic floor piles, my hair constantly one day past its best-before date. My shifts at my after-school job always started five minutes late for reasons I still can’t account for. No one – not even me – saw anything past laziness.
College magnified my imposter syndrome. As the first in my family to pursue and complete post-secondary education (not to mention only half of us had finished high school), I felt the crushing weight of expectation. I juggled a full-time job, a viciously abusive relationship, demanding classes, and the gnawing fear that I was only moments away from being exposed as a fraud. Every assignment submitted late felt like the one that would expose my acceptance as a mistake.
I compensated with an arsenal of alarms, sticky notes in odd places, and sheer willpower. So much so that I have not one but two anxiety disorders that I box breathe through regularly (a little-known side-effect of untreated ADHD). Through clenched jaws and gritted teeth, I was convinced that everyone else was better than me. They were smarter, more capable. Things just seemed…easier for them. It was as if we all had the same recipe, but my copy was missing a vital ingredient.
Who Could Ever Love Me?
Impulsivity shaped my adult life, especially in relationships. My emotions felt intense and consuming. I often fell hard and fast, craving connection and validation. Without school to provide structure, I threw myself into work, desperate to prove my worth while seeming “normal.”
Looking back, it’s clear how ADHD left me vulnerable to toxic relationships. My rejection sensitivity led me to tolerate mistreatment out of fear of being seen as inherently flawed. Familiar dynamics of emotional chaos mirrored my upbringing and felt strangely comforting, even when they crossed into abuse.
Partners who belittled me or weaponized my disorganization confirmed my deepest insecurities: that I was broken, unlovable, or, as one cruelly put it, “a Kmart Blue Light Special.” I convinced myself that working harder could make me worthy of love. Leaving toxic situations felt like personal failure, reinforcing the belief that I couldn’t manage even the simplest human experience.
A New Direction
My turning point came when a close friend shared her ADHD diagnosis. Her experiences – endless to-do lists, forgotten appointments, impulsive decisions – felt hauntingly familiar. Still, seeking help felt selfish and dramatic. I was supposed to be the responsible one.
By 29, burnout consumed me after years in a high-pressure career. Convinced my searing shame stemmed from laziness or lack of discipline, I finally sought help. The therapist patiently listened as I recounted a lifetime of chaos, perfectionism, and caregiving. Her eyebrows barely raised when I confessed that, after an intense 24-hour research spree, I impulsively dropped $250 on everything needed to own a guinea pig – only to discover, upon holding one for the first time, that I do not like guinea pigs. When she confirmed the diagnosis (suspiciously not long after the guinea pig story), I cried with relief.
Revelation
The diagnosis reframed my entire life. I wasn’t lazy or defective – my brain simply worked differently. Yet, the relief was tempered by grief: for lost opportunities, for years spent drowning under impossible expectations, and for potential I never believed I had.
With support, I began untangling these narratives. I learned that being supportive doesn’t mean sacrificing my well-being. I no longer equate rest with failure, and I push back against imposter syndrome, recognizing it as a voice from my past – not my present – though it still whispers that my ADHD diagnosis is an excuse. Therapy helped me recognize that voice for what it is: a lifetime of feeling inadequate despite managing far more than most people could handle.
Better Today
Today, I’m still learning. Imposter syndrome persists but has quieted. I rely on supportive tools like reminders, medication, and unconventional laundry organization systems. While things still slip through the cracks, I’ve accepted that this doesn’t diminish my worth.
Being diagnosed with ADHD didn’t fix me – but it allowed me to rewrite my story with compassion. I’m no longer defined by perfectionism or shame. Instead, I see myself with the kindness I once reserved only for others. After all, being human isn’t about never falling – it’s about learning to get back up.
About the Author: C Motz is a Calgarian sharing her personal journey of ADHD in support of others like her.
Managing your money can feel overwhelming, especially if you add the challenge of ADHD or a learning disability (LD.) With the right strategies and tools, you can create a budget and build good money habits that work for your brain.
Let’s look at some practical tips and tools to help simplify budgeting and build financial confidence. Building financial confidence can spill over to build confidence in other areas of your life, too.
Why is Budgeting Challenging?
For LD and ADHD brains, managing money can be a challenge. It often involves extra hurdles. The challenges of LDs or ADHD can affect how you process information, plan, and make decisions. All of these are essential for budgeting.
Challenges
Executive function challenges like planning, organizing, prioritizing, and staying focused can leave you overwhelmed by details. This can make tasks like balancing a chequebook, reviewing bank transactions or tracking expenses seem even more overwhelming.
Impulsivity and Emotional Spending
People with LD and ADHD often find themselves making impulsive decisions or engaging in emotional spending. That must-have purchase can lose its shine very quickly leading to guilt and regret. Emotional spending might also be a coping mechanism for stress, boredom, or because you are frustrated with money-related tasks.
The Overwhelm Factor
Traditional budgeting methods can often rely on detailed calculations and precise tracking. You might find it difficult to keep track of purchases or understanding interest rates. For those who are overwhelmed easily, these complex tasks can quickly lead to avoidance. The result? Missed payments, overdrafts, or too much month at the end of the money.
There is Good News
Despite these challenges, there are ways to create a budgeting system that works for you and your brain.
- Keep tasks simple.
- Use visual tools.
- Build in supports.
If you follow these steps, you can take control of your finances one step at a time.
Foundations of ADHD & LD-Friendly Budgeting
Creating a budget that works for different brains starts with keeping things simple and focusing on small, realistic actions. These simple tips can help to reduce the overwhelm and look at your needs.
Start Small
Begin with small steps to build your confidence:
- Start with one task. Track a single category, like groceries, instead of your entire budget.
- Plan to do a quick, weekly check-in on that one area instead of trying a full monthly review.
- Try using round numbers. Keep it simple. You can round up or down depending on the amount.
- Track you spending on a piece of paper. Tape it to your fridge to keep it visible.
What Tools Do You Need?
Choose tools to keep budgeting easy for you:
- If you are ready to try an app, look at apps like YNAB, Goodbudget and Mint. They can help with the math and give clear visuals.
- You can use spreadsheet templates with pre-set formulas that do the math for you.
- If you prefer a paper-based system, use large-font and color-coded templates to make them easier to work with.
Make It Visual
Both LD & ADHD brains might find that visual systems help keep information simple:
- Use color-coding for different expenses. For example, green for essentials, and red for extras.
- If you are comfortable with Excel, you can turn numbers into visuals using pie charts or bar graphs that show your spending instantly.
- You can try keeping your budget visible by keeping it on a bulletin board or on the fridge. You can also try using sticky notes as reminders.
Start small, use simple tools, and lean into visuals. You can create a budgeting system that feels possible and easy for you to do.
Managing Your Money
Managing money is not about perfection. It is about creating systems that work with your unique way of thinking. Here are some strategies that are simple and flexible. They are designed to make budgeting less overwhelming and more doable.
The “Rule of Three” Method
Instead of tracking every single expense, focus on three main areas:
- The Essentials: These are things like rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, and other must-haves.
- Your Savings: This is about building your emergency funds or saving for a vacation or a big purchase or special gifts.
- Fun Money: Use this for things you enjoy, like a coffee or something you might want.
This method helps you concentrate on the important things without feeling bogged down by details.
Automate When Ever You Can
This will reduce the chance of forgetting:
- Set up automatic bill payments. Start with the bills that are the same amount each month. Think of how great it will be to never miss a due date.
- Set up a direct transfer into your savings account as soon as you are paid.
- You can use apps that track your spending and send alerts when you are near your limit.
Create a Spending Plan for “Fun Money”
Impulse spending happens, and that is okay! Give yourself permission to spend on fun things but set a limit ahead of time.
- Withdraw cash for fun money each week. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Did you know that the experience of physically handling cash makes us more mindful? It can help you develop a stronger sense of what you are spending compared to debit or credit card.
- Try using a prepaid debit card for fun expenses. This can keep you in your budget without relying on willpower.
Set Financial Reminders
Time blindness can make it tricky to stay on top of deadlines. Use reminders!
- Use a reminders app on your phone or a calendar app to set recurring reminders for bill payments, budget check-ins, or adding to your savings.
- Choose a specific day each week for a quick “money moment” to review your accounts and spending.
A Quick Look at Emotional Spending
Emotional spending can sneak up on anyone. For LD & ADHD brains, it is often tied to moments of stress, boredom, or struggles with number-related tasks. Understanding your patterns can help you stay on track.
What are Your Emotional Spending Triggers?
Be aware and notice when and why you are spending. Are you:
- Feeling stressed or overwhelmed about managing your budget?
- Looking for a reward after a tough day?
- Avoiding an unpleasant task or emotion?
When you can name your triggers, you can learn to pause and decide whether that purchase supports your goals.
Simplify the Numbers
If tracking your spending feels like too much, try these ideas:
- Use budgeting tools with visual aids or automated features to avoid the calculations.
- Focus on one number and area at a time, like weekly spending. Don’t try to manage several areas.
- Stick to round numbers, like $100 for groceries, to make the mental math easier.
Pause Before You Purchase
When the urge to spend strikes, try these simple pause techniques:
- Wait 24 hours before making non-essential purchases.
- Ask yourself, “Do I really need this right now?”
- If you find it challenging to remember, set up a digital reminder to revisit the purchase later.
Replace Emotional Spending with Other Options
Find other ways to meet the emotions behind your spending:
- Stressed? Take a short walk, practice deep breathing, or listen to calming music.
- Bored? Dive into a hobby or engage in hands-on activities like cooking or crafting.
- Feeling down? Treat yourself in a non-financial way, like journaling, watching a favourite show, or connecting with someone you trust.
Building Accountability
Having someone to share your financial goals with can make a big difference. You can:
- Work with a coach, financial counselor, or someone experienced in working with LD & ADHD brains.
- Share your goals with a trusted friend or family member who can check in with you.
- Use a budgeting tool that works with your brain.
By combining strategies for emotional regulation and practical tools that make budgeting easier, you can create spending habits that are encouraging and doable. These strategies won’t solve everything overnight, but they can make budgeting feel less overwhelming and more achievable. Start with just one idea and build from there—you’ll be surprised how much progress you can make!
Resources
NerdWallet : Comparisons and reviews of budgeting apps.
Mad About Money App – For Android and iOS. An app built to help neurodiverse brains talk about money.
Attitude Magazine – this website focuses on ADHD brains, and it has many resources on finances.
Understanding the financial challenges faced by neurodivergent people – article by FT Advisor
About the Author: Laura Godfrey has worked with families and individuals as an ADHD coach for over 8 years and is an ICF and PAAC-credentialed ADHD Life Coach, an AudHD Coach (Autism), and an ADHD Parent Coach. She holds a Self-Reg® Foundations Certificate through the Mehrit Centre. Her ADHD Coach training is through the ADD Coach Academy, and she also facilitates ADHD support groups at CanLearn.
About The Learning Disability
& ADHD Network
The Learning Disabilities and ADHD Network is a collaborative of a broad group of organizations and individuals in Calgary, which is operated through Foothills Academy Society.
Members of this long-standing Network regularly present at conferences, provide workshops and courses, undertake research projects in the field, collaborate with each other on various initiatives, and jointly create content for the website. Most importantly,
we are people whose lives have been touched by Learning Disabilities & ADHD, and whose life’s work it has been to support individuals with learning and attention challenges.
Disclaimer: The Learning Disabilities & ADHD Network does not support, endorse or recommend any specific method, treatment, product, remedial centre, program, or service provider for people with Learning Disabilities or ADHD. It does, however, endeavour to provide impartial and, to the best of our knowledge, factual information for persons with Learning Disabilities and/or ADHD.
